Monday, July 22, 2013

Promises of One Day (A Poem)

One day I will look my grief in the eye and get the help I need to address it
I will trust that a guy going to the bathroom is only using the toilet 
I will stop thinking people I love will die randomly without warning
I will no longer wake up slightly panicking that you aren't next to me
I will accept that life might not always seem fair, but no one ever said it would be
I will take comfort in the idea that I have to do this myself, but I don't have to do it alone 

One day I will stop obsessing over what could've been and focus on what is now
I will stop digging into your past and looking for answers
I will be at peace with what I know and what I will never know 
I will ignore my desire to learn things that only scare me further
I will center my thinking on what I can do now, not what I could've done then
I will understand that true love never dies, it just changes form- like you

One day I will allow myself to move on, knowing it's healthy and necessary
I will keep your memories close to my heart, but stop burrying myself in them 
I will put myself first and not feel guilty about it
I will allow happiness into my life and feel deserving of it 
I will accept that I'm not the same person I used to be
I will embrace this change and be stronger, wiser, and more beautiful because of it

One day I will actively follow through on the lessons you taught me
I will generously offer to help people with whatever they need
I will focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives
I will relax and give myself a break
I will laugh at life's frustrations and bask in the confusion 
I will make sure everyone I'm close to knows how special they are

I can get lost in the promises of "one day"
The future seems like a convienent space to toss these resolutions 
But at any point the passageway between my today and my one day 
Could have obstacles, narrow, or even close. 
So why not today? 
Why not start my one day now?

Today I won't accomplish all of these things, possibly not even one
I will forgive myself for that
I will respect my grief, but not let it consume me
I will focus on the baby steps I can take each day
I will celebrate small victories
I will take life a day at a time, because todays are what one days are made of.

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